Prezidentin’ Is Hard Work

Here’s the transcript of President G.W. Beard’s (see previous post for facial hair reference) remarks on the resignation of Scooter Libby.

Now here’s the translation:

It’s hard goddamn work being the President. And I ain’t got time to be talkin’ up here about indictments and what not. I gotta a job to do. And it’s hard work. The only thing Scooter did wrong was get caught. So I’m gonna look you media fellas in the eyes and tell you he’s a good guy who worked hard - just like me. It’s hard work.

Then I’m gonna tell you that we got a system here. And it says you’re innocent until proven guilty. Then I’m gonna laugh out loud as I think of all those Ay-rabs down in Gitmo who will never get a trial. It’s hard work being so funny.

Then, before I go, I’m gonna tell you what to report on instead of this scandal. I’m protecting the American people. I’m getting the economy moving. And I am going to name somebody to the Supreme Court. And if that don’t work, my next stunt will be jumping the Snake River Canyon in a rocket.

Thank you very much.

What he didn’t say was breaking the law would not be tolerated in his White House. I guess he’s already got enough to worry about, with the hard work and all.